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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059906">(Not So) Lonely Christmas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimmies/pseuds/shimmies'>shimmies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Trolling, David Rose's Past, Imbalanced Social Dynamics, M/M, Patrick Brewer is a Troll, Stevie Budd is a Troll</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:07:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimmies/pseuds/shimmies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick trolls David with a blast from the past on Christmas morning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd &amp; David Rose, Stevie Budd &amp; Patrick Brewer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(Not So) Lonely Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just a thinly veiled excuse to share this video. I tried embedding, but the link is there in case that doesn't work.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Story is based on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrFwSLwbOlA">this video</a>]</p><p>
  <iframe></iframe>
</p><p>The smell of pancakes wafts into the room as David's eyes flutter open. David flails his arm to the side to reach for his phone.</p><p>Wait, it's 9:15? His alarm didn't go off? Patrick made breakfast, so who's at the store?? David forces himself upright and hobbles to the kitchen.</p><p>"Merry Christmas, honey," Patrick beams at him from where he's perched on the kitchen window seat with his guitar.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>David strides over to the stack of pancakes and mug of coffee, prepared by his gem of a husband the exact way he likes it.</p><p>"Are these--"</p><p>"Blueberry ricotta, yes," Patrick smiles, plucking at the guitar strings lazily.</p><p>"And what's all this?" David asks, gesturing wildly in Patrick's general direction.</p><p>"Mm, just practicing. Might've learned some Christmas songs," Patrick says in that nonchalant but slightly teasing voice with a bob of his eyebrows.</p><p>David furrows his brows, trying to deduce what Patrick has up his sleeve this time. There's definitely something up his sleeve. Whether it's a total troll or something nauseatingly sweet and genuine, well, that should be evident soon.</p><p>Based on prior experience, David can only assume the pancakes and coffee are a preemptive apology for whatever is about to happen with the guitar.</p><p>Patrick wiggles his eyebrows at David as he hums a vaguely familiar melody, strumming some chords in time. Is this <em>Last Christmas</em>? No, <em>Winter Wonderland</em>?</p><p>It's not until Patrick starts singing that David realizes what's happening, and David nearly chokes on a sip of coffee.</p><p>"Lonely Chriiiiiistmaaaaaas," Patrick croons dramatically.</p><p>"Who sent this to you?!?" David storms over, unsure of what to do with his hands.</p><p>“I've been slipping my number to everyone I meet. I've been hooking up with randoms on dark and shady streeeeeets,” Patrick strikes a pose with a dramatic sweep of his hand.</p><p>"This isn't funny, Patrick!" David huffs, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating.</p><p>“You'd think a guy like me would be a surefire hit, but everyone I date turns out a pile of--”</p><p>"I swear to god there will be divorce papers on your desk tomorrow, mister," David threatens.</p><p>It isn't until a loud cackling starts coming from their kitchen counter that Patrick finally breaks out laughing. He picks up his phone from behind a stack of cookbooks to reveal Stevie on FaceTime, laughing so hard tears escape from her eyes.</p><p>"I told Patrick," Stevie is still struggling to stop laughing. "That this was all I wanted for Christmas."</p><p>"Where did you find that?!?" David hisses, snatching the phone away from Patrick.</p><p>"You think I've never googled you?" Stevie shrugs.</p><p>"But you didn't have to send it to my husband!"</p><p>"I obviously had to! Have you met me? I couldn't deprive your husband of those <em>glasses</em> and the dancing and the hair and--" Stevie breaks out laughing again.</p><p>David groans. "They made me do it for <em>A Little Bit Alexis</em>. The fans voted between each of our songs."</p><p>"So no excuses for the glasses then? Or the hair." Patrick smirks at him.</p><p>"It was before I had LASIK," David pouts. "I <em>knew</em> these were preemptive apology pancakes!"</p><p>"Okay but who won the vote?" Stevie interrupts.</p><p>David glares at her.</p><p>"Oh, I'm definitely the winner here," Patrick takes David in his arms for a kiss which David reluctantly accepts.</p><p>"Okay ew this wasn't part of the deal, Patrick!" Stevie shouts.</p><p>"MmmMmMmmMmmm," David moans dramatically, holding the phone up right next to their faces as they kiss, sticking out his tongue to swipe over Patrick's lips.</p><p>"Eww ew ew you can shut me off now! Shut--" Stevie's face disappears as she ends the call.</p><p>David squirms out of Patrick's arms to sulk as he eats the apology pancakes. And they're fucking <em>delicious</em>. But he absolutely cannot give Patrick the satisfaction, so David faces away as he stuffs his mouth.</p><p>“Pretty good, huh?” Patrick teases.</p><p>“Awful,” David mumbles through a mouthful. “Gonna need more, though.”</p><p>“C'mon,” Patrick tugs David back into his arms. “Let's see if Kris Kringle left you someone special underneath our tree.”</p>
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